And after the earthquake a fire;
but the Lord was not in the fire,
and after the fire
a still small voice.
1 Kings 19:12
Friday, January 23, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Thoughts on a walk with Mocha
Today I overslept. This has become a recently common occurance; one of which I do not like but somehow continue to succumb to morning after morning. The first and essentially only thing on today's to-dos was to take our dog mocha on a walk. So I changed and hit the sidewalks to go to our usual spot where she delights in sniffing almost eternally until she finds a scent worth adding her own to. The weather was warm and the lighting completely even on every surface creating a stale landscape that was somehow calming and even welcoming. The absence of sun and sporadic rainfall didn't bother me a bit.
Ever since I started taking her on the first walk of the day, we've had a certain bonding between us. But this blog isn't about mocha and I or even our walk. It's about the feeling I had when I awoke today. The reflective, creative, contemplative feeling I used to live and thrive in. I lost it and I'm not exactly sure when or what triggered the slow degeneration of creativity I've experienced in the past while but my lack of desire and motivation has been overwhelming. Today was different though. I felt it within me. I felt the perspective I used to keep my eyes set on seeping straight through. My unmapped dreams and unblazed paths came back as clear and yet foggy as before resonating silently within. It's a beautiful thing too, wanting something you can't define, striving for things you don't have the slightest idea of. And to come to think of it, I had not realized how I've missed it until my walk with mocha.
As I was enjoying the breeze and taking an excessive amount of deep breaths as I often do, I began to think on this feeling I recognized. The -as earlier stated- striving for things we haven't the slightest idea of and I believe it's innate within each of us. A strand of DNA the Lord uniquely designs for all persons individually. Those who know him feel it. Those who listen for his voice and seek his guidance hear it. It's the calling He reveals to those who follow him.
To think the very design of one's life on this earth is hiddin within them and to find it they must call on the one who put it there is practically inconceivable to a society driving themselves into the ground on independence. But for me, today was the day I felt it was renewed, I felt as if I have come full circle from a wild sub-journey I have been on.
I know the Lord does nothing on accident and the desires and gifts he granted me were not without purpose. So, I have decided to recklessly follow my heart and the direction I feel he is calling me. To wildly devote my time, thoughts and efforts to an eternal destination I am bound to end up at. I lost sight of the things, the thoughts, the gifts he made just for me and the reason I love doing what I do. I forgot the satisfaction of fulfilling my design and walking in the steps made ready for me. This is the pivot. The point where I pick up my foot and turn my body to head in the direction I am ultimately inclined to.
This blog is slightly scattered but it's ok because these things stirring around in my head are only scribbles and scratches of a grand piece I will hopefully communicate through the life I have been given.
Ever since I started taking her on the first walk of the day, we've had a certain bonding between us. But this blog isn't about mocha and I or even our walk. It's about the feeling I had when I awoke today. The reflective, creative, contemplative feeling I used to live and thrive in. I lost it and I'm not exactly sure when or what triggered the slow degeneration of creativity I've experienced in the past while but my lack of desire and motivation has been overwhelming. Today was different though. I felt it within me. I felt the perspective I used to keep my eyes set on seeping straight through. My unmapped dreams and unblazed paths came back as clear and yet foggy as before resonating silently within. It's a beautiful thing too, wanting something you can't define, striving for things you don't have the slightest idea of. And to come to think of it, I had not realized how I've missed it until my walk with mocha.
As I was enjoying the breeze and taking an excessive amount of deep breaths as I often do, I began to think on this feeling I recognized. The -as earlier stated- striving for things we haven't the slightest idea of and I believe it's innate within each of us. A strand of DNA the Lord uniquely designs for all persons individually. Those who know him feel it. Those who listen for his voice and seek his guidance hear it. It's the calling He reveals to those who follow him.
To think the very design of one's life on this earth is hiddin within them and to find it they must call on the one who put it there is practically inconceivable to a society driving themselves into the ground on independence. But for me, today was the day I felt it was renewed, I felt as if I have come full circle from a wild sub-journey I have been on.
I know the Lord does nothing on accident and the desires and gifts he granted me were not without purpose. So, I have decided to recklessly follow my heart and the direction I feel he is calling me. To wildly devote my time, thoughts and efforts to an eternal destination I am bound to end up at. I lost sight of the things, the thoughts, the gifts he made just for me and the reason I love doing what I do. I forgot the satisfaction of fulfilling my design and walking in the steps made ready for me. This is the pivot. The point where I pick up my foot and turn my body to head in the direction I am ultimately inclined to.
This blog is slightly scattered but it's ok because these things stirring around in my head are only scribbles and scratches of a grand piece I will hopefully communicate through the life I have been given.
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