Conventionality isn't necessary. Conviction is the cost of convenience.

sometimes it's ok to be a mess.

The Wild Raging Sun.

We rode those back roads under milky skies, an endless landscape by our side. The brisk wind played a monotonous song compelling thoughts on and on. Racing the sun, racing the wild raging sun before it met us out on the horizon. I loved the way you drove the center line. You owned those roads but you called them mine. We arrived and the cold sand was a pleasant change. Racing the sun, racing the wild raging sun before it met us way out on the horizon. Rising in all her glory we watched her tell her story before all the earth that morning. The first light of day had dawned on us and we were penetrated with awe. Knowing full well of our dear weary reams of thread and our tapestry so frail, tethered and raw. Dipped in golden light, dripping with rays of honey colored days we were sodden in our ways. Oh tapestry how soon your complexion will be undone and set ablaze. How soon you will be refined and redefined and like a mine of hidden treasures, how far you will come from those dirty pieces of coal. All your fragments, false pleasures, your flesh will be soon be made whole. Sweet was the way we watched the dark fold into dawn. Painful the pangs that struck through our beings to watch the jealous light colorfully begin feeding upon all the darkness that once presided over the haven from whence we had confided. Racing the Sun, Racing the Wild Raging Sun. To win would have been a loss, but to lose meant the rising of every bit of dross, the surfacing and skimming so necessary to reveal all that was within us, all we learned to conceal. Soon we'll have to race no longer and my dear the horizon will be an open door of which we'll ascend together. For in that day, when we surrender softly to his sovereignty we won't remember our loose ends and tethers. Yes, in our paramount journey we'll be content; we'll be together.

NOTE: THIS IS UNFINISHED. I CAN'T DECIDE ON A GOOD ENDING. I'VE GOT TWO ALTERNATE ENDINGS BUT I'M NOT COMPLETELY SATISFIED WITH ANY SO I'M JUST GOING TO POST IT AND THEN WHEN IT EVOLVES INTO A MORE COMPLETE, CONCLUSIVE, WHOLE PIECE I'LL POST IT AGAIN. I THINK THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING I'VE EVER WRITTEN. HOPE YOU ENJOY.

small thoughts, great breakthrough

I've wasted so much time holding together this stiff facade and have in turn compromised so much of my own happiness for the happiness of others. I've realized that we are all responsible for the happiness we take hold of in every season of life. Yes, it may or may not be stimulated by the actions of those around us but it is still our own personal decision to take what we're given and draw however much satisfaction we choose.
I can strive and strive and strive and still feel insufficient at bringing others happiness. But it really comes down to being okay with the fact that I am not in control. Realistically there is nothing I can I do to make everyone happy and I just need to know that and live within that revelation.
I already feel so much more alive and assertive and ready to take on my life and the things that have been holding me down. After all, this is MY journey...no one else has walked it before and no one will after me. I might as well go after it with everything in me!

The unfolding begins...

I like this

"The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land." - GK Chesterton

Summer Anthems:

1. Skinny Love -Bon Iver
2. Carried Home -Iron and Wine
3. Sail Away -David Gray
4. Concerning the UFO Sighting Near Highland, Illinois -Sufjan Stevens


Summer Art:

by Michelle Armas

I just really need to GET FOCUSED.